XtraJoy.com

By Amy Waterman, Relationship Expert

How many dates does it take to make a decision about whether or not you want to pursue a relationship?

I’ve always been curious about this aspect of dating, because very few women have comparable experiences. With some dates, the knowledge is immediate and instinctual. With other dates, months may pass before the endearing nature of his laugh, his smile, his character becomes apparent.

I know that I am a slow warmer. I am wary when I meet a man for the first time. I am dubious of his intentions. I read innuendo where none was intended. It takes me time to let down my guard.

It’s not because I’m naturally a suspicious person. It’s because, in the realm of relationships, I’ve been burned enough by bad apples.

I’m representative of most women my age. By one’s thirties, one has experienced enough bad relationships to associate the dualities of pain and pleasure with a man. One is never sure how much to trust.

But this isn’t natural.

Twenty years ago, I loved all boys. I played with them innocently and full-heartedly. Boys were my playmates, my cohorts in crime, and my teammates for games. I could think no evil of boys. Their strange preferences for dirt, body odor, cars, and constrictive underpants were simply idiosyncrasies of fascinating playmates.

As I grew older, I realized that boys could no longer be trusted to play innocently with me. My first two male friends in college were cool–a jazz musician and an Apple Mac gamer–until I realized they “liked” me. I quickly dissolved the friendships. I wanted the innocent companionship and friendship of my childhood male schoolmates. I didn’t realize that maturing would erase that possibility completely.

When do we women lose our innocence with men? And can we ever regain it?

In my line of work, one great danger is to take relationships and attraction too seriously. Many women feel that the potential of the man they are seeing is a matter of life or death. Instead of having fun playing with him (like a child with a favorite playmate), they evaluate his potential as a father. They situate any future relationship squarely in the realm of adulthood. The rest of their lives is at stake.

My flatmate tells me that the definition of compatibility as a couple is when his or her issues are compatible with your issues.

That’s a pretty adult view of the situation.

I have a different view. I believe that you know a man is compatible with you if he likes to play the same “games” you like to play. Maybe you like to tease in a certain way; maybe there’s a certain game in bed that you like to play. Maybe you like to go out; maybe you like to mountain bike. If he likes to enjoy himself and have fun and laugh in the same ways as you, you’ve found a potential soulmate.

We all knew back in childhood that there were some children that we could play with for ages, and there were others who liked games that didn’t interest us. It’s the same with men and women.

Yet in our attempt to find a suitable man, we often forget to look for one that we have fun with. One that makes the kinds of jokes we find funny (and laughs at our jokes). One that is up for any crazy scheme we propose. One that will make our life happy and light-hearted, not just important and successful.

Life is serious and dry enough. We don’t need relationships to replicate those patterns.

Relationships should be a haven from life’s dry seriousness. You should be able to feel like a child with your partner, unembarrassed at the silliest of games. Together, you will be responsible for forming a life, raising children, making a home … but all this will only be enjoyable if you can laugh together.

I have been out on dates with many successful, intense, highly attractive men. I admire them, appreciate them, and learn much from conversations with them. These are the men who will shape the world. No woman can fail to respond to their power.

But as for myself … in my little, humble world … I envision my ideal future as one in which there is always laughter, in which I can return to childhood with my spouse and play those games that I didn’t get to play enough before I grew “old.” I want us to be able to chase one another around the room, have pillow fights, and wrestle. I want us to tease one another, share silly jokes, and dissolve the seriousness of a working day with the magical spell of humor.

So, I suppose, the answer to my question is that it takes exactly the number of dates you need to decide whether you’ve found a companion you can play with. Some kids find a game they can play with each other right off the bat. Other kids end up trying lopsided games that one but not the other likes until they either find a game they like in common or give up.

Trust your child-heart’s instinct. Ask yourself … if you were a kid, would you play with this guy? Or would he be one of those kids who tries to control the game, or change the rules, or cheat?

A partner who makes life more fun is a treasure indeed,

All the best in life and love,

Amy Waterman
Host of “How to Be Irresistible to Men”
Learn More at:
http://hyperlink.to/tomen

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About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of “How To Be Irresistible To Men,” which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The “How To Be Irresistible To Men” Premium Course offers all women – single or not - a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted at:

http://hyperlink.to/tomen

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 Here are some awesome tips for men on how to win over women.

Making Women Lust For You
Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford, All Rights Reserved
Dear Kathy
http://www.dearkathy.com

Talk to just about any man, and the odds are pretty good that
he’ll tell he wouldn’t mind being the kind of man that women
lust after. We all want to think that we’re physically
attractive to the opposite sex. However, there are a lot of
different reasons that a woman lusts over a man, so there’s no
one way that any guy can make any woman lust for him. If your
goal is to have women lust after you, there are certain things
that you can do to make yourself attractive to the broadest range
of women possible.

First on the agenda is your appearance.

Sure, many physical attributes are subjective and it’s true that
“beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but there are certain
elements that you can incorporate into your appearance that will
increase the odds that women are going to be drawn to you. Most
women like their men to be clean and looking sharp. If you show
up for your date with a nice five o’clock shadow and your
clothes looking like you’ve run the Boston Marathon in them, the
odds are pretty good that your date isn’t going to swoon over
you. On the flip side, if you show up having just given yourself
a good shave and in clean clothes, you’re probably on the way to
making a pretty good impression. Something else to remember is
that most women love a dazzling smile and for their men to have a
decent haircut – even though hair length and style are both
pretty subjective. Something else that you might work on is
getting your eyes to twinkle, making it much more likely for you
to get off to a great start.

After your appearance, we get into the gray area of personality
traits – some of which women love and some of which women
dislike. If you ask what personality trait women most like in a
man, the odds are pretty good that “a sense of humor” is going
to be near the top of the list. This doesn’t mean that you have
to find Homer Simpson to be the epitome of comedy or that you
need to have watched SOUTH PARK, but rather that you don’t take
yourself or life too seriously. When you’re out on that date, if
you can make a woman laugh, you’re well on the road to having
her seriously want you.

When you’re out with her, make sure that you listen to her. No
woman likes a man who monopolizes the conversation. Also, don’t
turn into Mike Macho when it comes time to picking up the check.
If she says that she wants to split it, don’t make it into a
battle. Go along with her and watch as she enjoys the way that
you’re respecting her wishes.

Women like men who are self-confident, but that doesn’t mean
that they enjoy arrogant men. They don’t. They want someone who
is knows who he is without being a jerk about it. This also holds
true when it comes to being someone who doesn’t have a 6-pack
abdomen. Most women find men who are attentive to their needs and
are confident, relaxed, and sincere, are the men that they most
want to spend time with.

In short, with probably just a little work, you can turn yourself
into the man that woman are lusting over.

————

———————————————-
Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, “I show singles how to get
married and couples how to STAY married” Do you want more from
your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for
relationship articles, advice, and programs.

Get Kathy’s new book, “Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make
When Shopping for a Man.” and learn the right way to find a
loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at
http://www.relationshipremorse.com

Copyright © 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.

Recently, I was at a hospital, waiting to collect some medicine at the dispensary.To my surprise, at one corner of the waiting area, there is a library which reads ‘For patients only”. So to kill time, I went in and was amazed at the books and magazines that one can browse while waiting for one’s medicine.
As love-making is a favorite subject with me, I immediately scan the books with this topic.A book by Dr Gillian McKeith caught my attention. She lists some food that will enable us to charge up our sexual energy, enhance potency and fertility.
Hmm, what better ways to have great sex and eat healthy food at the same time.
Here are some of the food:
- Apple
-Asparagus
-Avocados
-Beetroot
-Blackcurrent
-Brown rice
-Celery
-Cherries
-Cinnamon
-Dates
-Fennel
-Figs
-Garlic
-Ginger
-Hazelnuts
-Licorice
-Mangoes
-Nutmeg
-Oats
-Onion
-Parsley
-Promegranates
-Pumpkin
-Raspberries
-Seaweed
-Soybeans
-Spinach
-Spirulina
-Strawberries
-Sunflower seed
-Tomatoes
-Trout
And the best of all…raw sauerkraut according to a German research.
Don’t abandon your present diet.Just ensure you add the above into your diet.
Also for best quick results, ladies can try HerSolutionGel while the guys can consider XtraJoy

Happy eating and love-making!

Durex, a leading condom manufacturer reported in their sexual wellbeing survey in 2006 that 6 in 10 Singaporeans feel their sex lives lack excitement.
Other interesting findings:
–Would like to have sex more than once a week=67%
–Wish for more romance in their sex lives=54%
–Wish for more better communication=60%

I don’t know about you guys but I think if the men take Xtrajoy and the women use HerSolutionGel, the bed will be like an earthquake and the above three problems easily solved.

Other interesting findings in the survey:
–People in Greece are the most eager to go to bed-87% have sex at least once a week.
–Nigerians say sex is exciting-78%
–Japanese are the most miserable lot-only 10% say sex is exciting.

Good news ( or bad?) for the women:
– Singaporean women has an average of 3 partners.
–World average is 7 partners.
–New Zealand women are the cream…20 partners.

Gee, I wish I was born in New Zealand.
Hmm, on second thought, maybe I can consider to retire in New Zealand.

Many women experience at least one dip in their sex drive, often several. It could be short term or longer term, but either way it’s an unfortunate occurrence. Don’t you want to go back to the level of desire you had when you were in your twenties? There’s no need to just accept that you’re not interested in sex right now. Lack of sex affects intimacy between a couple, as well as affects mood. Research has been done over the years into improving women’s libido, and with a little information you can go back to feeling like how you did, before work, family and age took too much out of you.

Thankfully, there are now multiple treatments available to women with low libidos. Finding out what is causing the dip in sex drive is important to figure out which form of treatment might be most effective. Treatments range from counselling to simple lifestyle changes, to estrogen patches and prescription drugs. The problem could either be physical or emotional. Finding out why you’re experiencing a low sex drive is vital to finding out how to fix the problem.

Some physical factors include, but are not limited to: hormone deficiency, stress, childbirth, hyperthyroidism, low levels of testosterone, diabetes, and some forms of medication. Talking to your doctor may help to pinpoint the cause, and they can discuss solutions with you.

Fatigue, stress and health are three big factors that affect not only your libido but every aspect of your life.

Your doctor may suggest an estrogen patch or pill, which is used to treat the symptoms of menopause. Some doctors prescribe taking male virility drugs like Viagra as a means to increase sexual desire. While the drug may indeed increase sexual desire, there have been no official reports released yet on the results for women. There are also a number of side effects that may not be worth it. It’s important to discuss options with your doctor. Thankfully, natural treatments such as HerSolution Gel™ offer a safe alternative to drugs or hormones. You can find out more about HerSolution Gel™ at HerSolutionGel.com.

If the problem isn’t physical, then you have to ask yourself what is causing the problem. Negative feelings like stress, guilt, and worry may affect your desire to have sex. If the problem is emotional, then counselling or behavioural therapy is an option that works for many women.

Most importantly, don’t put too much stress on yourself. If the worry from your day to day life is affecting your sex life, then worry about your sex life is going to affect your sex life even worse.

In our society women have the opportunity to decide between work, family or both. The June Cleavers of yesteryear’s media have been replaced by smart, sassy, career oriented women. Yet while we all imagine we’re having exciting sex lives like the cast of Sex and the City, how many of us actually are?

Did you know that 10% of women have never experienced an orgasm, either by themselves or with a partner? It’s not a matter of can’t, but haven’t. Many women just aren’t sure how to go about getting what they want in the bedroom. So here are a just few tips to get you started.

Masturbation is key in knowing what feels good, especially if you’ve never orgasmed before. This can either be done manually, with a vibrator, or whatever way feels good for you. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to climax- as you explore your body you will discover your triggers.

Once you know what feels right for you, communication with your partner is key. Let them know what feels good. You don’t even necessarily need to have a conversation, if that makes you uncomfortable - instead try body language and reassuring noises when they hit the right spot. Remember, you can’t expect them to know what’s working for you if you don’t tell them, especially if you’re prone to faking.

In addition to sexual communication with your partner, communication in general is a big factor. If you have any distracting feelings, such as guilt, stress, or worry, focussing on sex is a difficult task. Getting these feelings out of the way, although not easy, frees up your attention.

Sexual positions with the woman on top makes it easier for her to orgasm, because she controls the speed and movements. Keep in mind that only 30% of women regularly orgasm through intercourse- receiving oral sex is the most common method to reaching climax.

While men have increased opportunity to improve their sex life, with prescription medications like Viagra, or even surgeries, women have been left in the dark. Until now, that is. If you’ve thought about increasing your libido but didn’t know how, you should consider trying HerSolution Gel™. It feels like a lube, but instead of using low-grade ingredients, HerSolution Gel™ is made from high-quality herbal essences, vitamins and butters. And while it alleviates vaginal dryness like any regular lube, it also increases blood flow by dilating blood vessels, a sure way to intensify your desire, and fulfilling it.